Kickazz peeps!
Strongbad!
Ah, politics!

 
Haven't written anything all week

Probably because I've been too damnably emotional and irrational and tired to deal with trying to express myself. This week's sheer nadir came on Thursday evening when I went to kickboxing to try to work off that majorly shitty day, in which everyone was at my throat, and I had to stay 45 minutes late for this one district. The worst part was that kickboxing was with this one teacher I can't stand. When I went, 15 minutes in, I remembered why I stopped going to his class: it's not just brutal (half of the class consists of squats which just kill my knees), but it's deadly boring (continual reps of the same combos over and over and over and over). Basically, it's brutally boring. Plus the guy likes to pretend that he's the Devil by making everyone "work so hard." Sorry, guy, you're only Satan cuz you're dull!

So I come home to chat with a friend. There's something wrong, but he won't tell me what the hell it is. And the secret is wrecking his life, from his horrible grades this term to an episode in which he was drunk (and he NEVER drinks!). Apparently he can't tell me what it is because he says what he did will hurt me and I'll hate him. Uhmkay. And me not knowing makes me like him better? Especially when he's deliberately withholding information and won't tell me why? I don't get it, and I'm so damned frustrated, angry and depressed about it, that it's killing me. Playing a game of Cubis before I went to bed calmed me a touch, but I barely slept.

Tomorrow I have an exam, but I'm so full of friggin' manic energy that I don't think I'm gonna get to sleep anywhere close to on time for getting 8 hours. I'm in bad shape. And it's not getting better. At least I'm going to Paul's tomorrow for a little **wink wink nudge nudge** and to hang out, cuddle, laugh, and generally forget the hellishness that was this week...

 
Well, I did it
Put in a request and a comment for a new assignment. I need to contact this one lady out of the O-town office, to get the fuxor out. Godz I hope they have something! **fingers crossed**

 
Ommmm... and Aaaaarghhh...

It isn't going to be easy tomorrow, I don't think, but I know I have to talk to the temp guy and tell him to get me the hell out of where I'm working now. It's just NOT gonna work for me anymore, and I just can't take it. Plus that blowup a week ago over a simple friggin' statement of fact was just a little too much to be borne...

See interesting quote from Lenore Thomson's Personality Type: an Owner's Manual re what sort of stuff might happen, and did happen with my boss, who I think is an ESFJ:

Without enough Sensate development, these types end up using their Feeling strengths defensively, to avoid information that doesn't fit inside their rational framework.

One can see this most clearly in the difficulty such types have in accepting negative feedback. ESFJs need Introverted Sensate skills to accept a disagreeable statement of fact without interpreting it as a statement of disapproval. If they can't make this distinction they have no way to experience criticism except as a threat [even if no criticism is intended -- EB], an invalidation of relationship, and they use their feeling skills to defend themselves from it.

ESFJs who won't deal with facts and possibilities that lie outside their rational ideals have a particular problem facing the messy, irrational side of the social groups to which they belong-- their families, their political organizations, their churches [their work - EB]. They don't believe it's right to "air dirty laundry." Even an attempt to talk about a bad [or different - EB] situation can strike these types as a mark of disloyalty to the group.

When it's weilded defensively, however, Extraverted Intuition simply convinces ESFJs that the problem not only is outside them, but needs to be straightened out right now, at any cost. Such types are overwhelmed by the need to change things: to get rid of the perceived problem once and for all, no matter who gets hurt; to take oer and get things under control, not only FOR others, but behind their backs if necessary; or to shut it out of awareness in whatever way they can manage.

Yikes! This is the crap I'm up against, should I happen to ever make a statement of fact that she finds to be "disagreeable." And it WON'T be handled rationally... Like it wasn't this last time. I'm in way over my head here, and need to get far clear of this sort of behavior, because it isn't rational or fair.