Kickazz peeps!
Strongbad!
Ah, politics!

 
Trying to wake up and get going
but I'm too goddamn hazy and tired... Ugh.

Oh well, the sun's coming out, so that'll be a nice pick-me-up. That and some Peets drip on the way to the freeway after getting water/batteries/PowerBars...

 
Going camping and getting the fuxor out of dodge

So I bought a tent today. And a sleeping bag. And a lantern. All I need are batteries, some water, and a few PowerBars or something of that nature.

I gotta get the hell out of here and think. I'm so frustrated with my job from hell-- and the blowup last Friday for no rational reason, the nonstop emotionalism, the crazy-ass workdays, talking to Devil Woman yet again today... I've just fucking had it. I think I gotta get my head on straight and get up the guts to go talk to my temp guy and have him get me the hell out of there. It's just hard to explain the emotional impact this bullshit is having on me when I'm not an emotional person. The worst part is he's "touchy-feely" just like my boss, who is too freakin' murcurial for words.

So, basically, I need to get the hell away from humanity-- people are annoying the frig out of me, and I think a little nice solitude near the coast should be just what the doctor ordered...

One can only hope anyway...

 
And as a counterbalance, something I don't regret writing

A review of Naomi Quenk's Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personality for Amazon:

This has to be one of the most interesting books I've yet read on Jungian/Briggsian personality type dynamics, and probably one of the most accurate as well, when it comes to predicting how a certain personality will react when under stress. Actually, that is the central topic to this fascinating book: how different, normal personalities react in different ways to external stressors, which vary, as well, by the 16 different types.

What's fascinating is to see, for example, that as an INTP, my stressors are radically different than they would be for an ESFJ (my polar opposite). What I find to be stressful, someone of another personality type would find to be the ideal situation in which to find him/herself. My stressors include: routine work, having my space intruded on at work, situations that involve lots of forced small talk, deadlines, inefficient paperwork and excessively (to me) emotional situations. And yet, someone else might find precisely these kinds of things heavenly.

I found typical INTP (related, ISTP) reactions to highly stressed situations to be very true for me as well. From the bitter cynicism, to blowing up emotionally and completely losing control, to losing complete touch with logic, I've seen every one of these behaviors in me when I'm pushed to the max, and am forced into the depths of emotion. Sometimes I don't stay there very long, in fact, I honestly hate being there, exactly as Quenk mentions.

What's even more interesting about this book, is that the behaviors are culled from Quenk's experiences and interviews with hundreds of different individuals from all personality types. While each person's reaction is very slightly different within the explorations of the sixteen types, it's very easy to see some very common patterns. Quenk does this in a very well thought out and a thouroughly researched manner.

My one (VERY) small gripe with the book is that there appears to have been a template used for each of the personality type chapters, because the introductory paragraphs to each subsection of each chapter are identical. But, with the sheer wealth of information in this book, it's really almost irrelevant. I've learned a lot about how to handle my "grip" and stressed behaviors a bit better, and to understand others' stressors as well.

A wonderful book, and a must-read reference for everyone!

 
Things I regret writing...

Got stuck with a bum entry a second ago, when I was trying to put up my bit of protest. So, since I'm stuck with the entry, here's a thing that in retrospect, I wish I'd never written:

I can't flush tampons down the toilet in my building-- they cause a blockage in the old pipes. At least, that's what the landlord claims, anyway. Sometimes I wonder if he might be lying, and yet the threat remains over my head, "Flush objects like tampons down the toilet and if there are any plumbing problems, you'll pay for the repairs." Somehow, economics is a strong deterrent. I could probably afford to pay the plumber, but I don't want to have to make any sacrifices, when it's simple enough to put it in a wastebasket.

I've had to throw away a lot of things in my lifetime, from old broken toys to broken furniture, to broken friendships. The friendships are the hardest, really. There's always that bond and that attachment to a person that you can't share with a chair or a car or even a torn up book. I know, I had to put a broken friendship to rest recently, one that turned into a bit of a stalking situation for awhile.

I knew it was over when my friendship and loyalty was treated as if it was nothing more than a large piece of refuse bound for the dump. I tried to get it mended by asking for an apology-- the Krazy Glue of a friendship, but unfortunately it was not forthcoming. I couldn't live with the rift-- it was tearing me and my pride and joy, my board apart. And yet, the importance of being right was more valuable than my friendship to this other person. It was unrepairable.

I'm a strange person, I guess. My friendships are more valuable to me than a vague principle or being "right." I'll do just about anything for a friend, but I expect to be valued the same way, and similar sacrifices to be made. I wonder sometimes, though, if others feel the same way about friendships. I've seen so many cases where real friendships with real people have been flushed down the toilet just like a dirty tampon simply for entertainment purposes. Is it any wonder when the pipes clog?

Real friends are hard to find in this life, the kind who will stand by you through thick and thin. Maybe they have a few foibles here and there, and sometimes act as if they're on the rag. Maybe sometimes it takes a bit of tolerance of things that bug the heck out of you to make it work. Or perhaps a turn of phrase or an off color joke might irritate you for awhile, much as a sanitary napkin might adhere itself to your body and stick in your hair. But, really, are you cleaner for removing the friendship and flushing it? Or are you perhaps the blood that soils it?

I can't see the value in throwing away someone for a comment or a joke they might make... It just trivializes the very meaning of friendship. Broken friendships are different-- there is a consistent pattern of a lack of respect, but one comment shouldn't cause someone to be flushed down the crapper of life or treated as if they are a filthy tampon. It saddens me to know that this is happening and it's worse when it happens to a friend.

Then again, I am sort of odd. I sometimes have strange mood swings, and often act as if I have permanent PMS. Loyalty is something I give without reservation-- really, almost like that trusty sanitary napkin. Of course, I could just be on the rag with all of this... Please flush me.

Oops, the toilet is stopped up! Get a mop!

 
Godz above, this country's going to hell...

I'm just having trouble believing this! Godz above, what in hell is wrong with us?

So much for the Constitution. So much for rights. So much for freedom of speech. So much for being a welcomed shopper in this "oh so consumer" world. So much for anything.

I'm convinced we really are going to hell, and this is just the beginning of the end. Brook no dissent, brook no contrary opinions. All of the above are verboten. All Heil Die Vaterland! Homeland Security uber alles!

Whatever happened to the simple defiance and embrace of freedom found in Voltaire's quote:
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.

I think the spirit of defiance and revolution against heirarchy and authority is long dead. Ben Franklin would be spinning in his grave right now... :-(

 
Some lousy @%$% scum-sucking liars...

Grrrraaaaahhhhh! Well, I'm gonna post parts of an e-mail I wrote to a certain lousy-ass sorry piece of garbage who I have the grave misfortune of constantly crossing his path... I thought I had a nice, poetic flow of venom and hatred, which I'm actually quite proud of:

Hello, my oh-so-beloved Snake From Hell,

Just thought I'd let you know that I do NOT appreciate being stabbed in the back by your sorry self yet again! If I'm going to attack you, I will be IN YOUR FACE or IN YOUR E-MAIL, like I am right now. You seem to think I have nothing better to do with my time than sit around and come up with stupid games to play. Funny, I thought I had a lot of things I needed to do, like fill in three applications for various county jobs this week, check idealist.org for non-profit job listings, etc. And I thought I had a few problems both in my personal life and in my online life to clear up. Thanks for adding another one! >:-(

Well, if I was going to attack you, I'd be more subtle, such as maybe adding your e-mail box to the Church of Scientology mailing list, or perhaps setting up a gay personals ad at Yahoo stating something like,
"Uncle [edited to protect the guilty] Wants You!
For big big big manly action, and a nice kickback SoCal vibe. Are you 9" or larger? Please send me an e-mail at [edited to protect the guilty]! I wanna suck your big Johnson!"

Aren't you glad I'm not the gaming sort? And that all I do is send hostile e-mails telling you off, because you're not acting like a sane, rational, and honorable human being?

Stop it now! Or this means WAR with my ONLY [insert message board] account of "[to protect my identity]" or my ONLY [insert message board] account of "[to protect my identity]"

You are so full of fucking shit, it's just unbelievable, you sad sack of bushwa!

Elizabeth

I get the distinct impression that the sad sack of garbage might read my blog from time-to-time, and since I was backstabbed and then blocked from ONE of said person's e-mail accounts, I figured I might as well post it here where said guilty party can read it in all its glory :-D **does the evil satan dance**